"What? You're searching? You'd like to multiply yourself ten times, a hundred times? You're looking for followers?--Look for ZEROS!--"

ya know, sometimes saddle points bring me down. it's not quite a definitive up or down; it's just a relative up or down to surrounding context. they straddle ambiguity. how like sex.

one more nietzsche quote, then i gotta place myself off this local minima, and down into F"(a)=0 for real.

"Posthumous human beings--like me, for example--are understood worse than timely ones, but they are LISTENED TO better. More accurately: we are never understood--and THAT'S the source of our authority."

yeah this douche bag totally went crazy t-minus 10 months (summer 1888).

<3

i have the worst hangover of my life. my whole body aches. not to mention my head. oh my fucking head... tequila--i knew there was a reason i hadn't touched the stuff in a year.

in other news, i am exploding with excitement over going back to reed. summer went...fast enough. this next week is going to be a blur--i'm working something like 48 hours. or 48 hours. either way.

most likely shipping my chrysler '96 convertible out (just out of curiosity, how much do YOU think that costs? odds are, it's a lot more than you expected...i was shocked). i also might be going insane--i think it's my body's way of reacting to the premise of reed. i really need to take it easier on the psychoactives this year...once i've conquered them, of course. 2cc? 2ci? dipt? 5-meo-etceteras? you are mine. yummmmmy.

finally, new england was such a treat. i could seriously see myself living in baltimore; nyc was mind-blowing; boston was a little too inhabited by douche bags; and the hamptons--yeah, they can shove it up their asses. faggots.

plus, i got to dive into a whole 'nother side of lewis carroll--not to mention life's true parallels with the game of chess. sacrifice is inevitable, moderation is never fun, and what comes up must come down.

but, i still need that one pasttime that has seriously been lacking all summer...

prolly the worst idea ever to have a live journal.

butttt... (tee hee)

here's 10 things I've learned this summer:
1. people with hearts can still like and listen to metal and hip-hop. who the fuck knew?
2. baseball is the best sport on the planet.
3. golf is not a sport, but the best thing ever.
4. waking up at 5 pm is so much worse than 5 am.
5. anyone can be a model. it's the makeup artists/hair stylists/photoshop experts to whom we owe the credit.
6. being open/witty/daring online and only online was so 7th grade.
7. exercise is a great idea that i think about often.
8. reedies so called it with the whole leggings-under-dresses/skirts thing. definitely saw the "new style" in shop magazine this past month. get with the program.
9. cd's will always be my crack.
10.quitting nicotine is so fucking easy. stupid addicts. RAWK>>>

one love

you should probably see the pixar film, "cars". not only does it have gorgeous graphics and witty inside jokes, it makes you want to take the backroads for once. i know the singularity is near, but now's a better time than ever to take life more slowly.


People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

- John Lennon, "Watching the Wheels"


in a completely different vein, here's my agenda for the rest of the summer:
june 28-july 6: milwaulkee (www.summerfest.com) & chicago
july 12: fiona apple (?) in noblesville, IN
july 28-30: baltimore, MD
july 30-31: PA/NJ/CT (?)
july 31-aug 2: NYC
aug 2-3: swampscott/salem, MA
aug 3-5: brookline/lexington, MA
aug 17: return to reed! give me a place to stay!!! and drugs!!!

read lolita. read it. i don't even like russian authors. read it.

lessee...

this summer has been vacuuming all over the place. all of a sudden, making arrangements seems particularly strenuous. i've met some good people, though, through old high school friends, including a boy (!) with the last name "heyer". that's a good one.

got a few hours at my old retail job, the parent teacher store, and am working for my dad about once a week for some good cash flow.

and then there's the gza/genius, comin atcha with his liquid swords and infinite flow:

When the MC's came, to live our their name
And to perform
Some had, to snort cocaine to act insane
with before Pete Rock-ed it on, now gone
that the mental plane to spark the brain
with the building to be born


oh and atmosphere's playing at headliners on the 17th; cooper you better follow through bro.

pAce

you gotta stay connected yo



sucker